Home
Cowboy Riding an Ostrich
Recent Entries 
4th-Feb-2010 09:34 pm - The Mentalist Drinking Game
HH
1 Shot each time an actor slips out of his American accent.

Advertisement

Schizopolis
I came whenever you spoke:
Every time, every place
Each will of mine you do provoke;
they cart me away without a face.
15th-Jan-2010 11:21 pm - Image for Tonight
Dick Cavett
The way Mary Lynn Rajskub embraced Conan and Andy as if it would be the last time (for a while, at least).
26th-Nov-2009 11:01 pm - I Am Made of Awesome
Johnny
I sat next to Carla for Thanksgiving dinner.
I passed her the salt,
I stabbed her some dark meat.

27 November, 2008
22nd-Nov-2009 11:45 am - Upon Near Finishing The Fountainhead
Schizopolis
Attention Ayn Rand and her followers:
Life is not a game of "Fuck Your Buddy".
Schizopolis
Can I hold you closer to me
And not feel you going through me?

Edit: And here it is

26th-Oct-2009 03:23 pm - Cultural Insensitivity
Schizopolis
Paul Haggis: The Scientologists didn't want this one.

Advertisement

25th-Oct-2009 04:25 pm - Triple Lutz
Rice
NBC is showing Hallowe'en themed figure skating which is creepier than Hallowe'en themed ANYTHING ELSE.

Because I'm mean:

Czolgosz
If you'll be Emma, I'll be Leon
Raise my ire, raise your fist
Oh! Strike me down; I'll be on
that like a hankie round a pistol.

BboUh
The only library in Northern Michigan that has Mackenzie Phillips' book is Manton's and there is no joke there.
16th-Oct-2009 11:36 pm - You're High!/You're Drunk!
Schrodinger
[placeholder for a piece about Dave Levey, the winner of the latest season of Hell's Kitchen, and his broken wrist as a metaphor for the inspired, willful direction our country ought to be taking]
5th-Oct-2009 11:09 am - MoQ 5: "Took-me-out" Criticism
Schizopolis
In the poetry workshop classes I've taken, there was a common expression used whenever a poem expressed its mechanics too fully, or any other vague offense it had committed.  The offended would claim that he or she had been taken out of the (reality? of the) poem.  No further explanation needed, no further help provided. 
Poetry is not creative non-fiction, it is free to expose how it works (in fact, this should be encouraged), poetry is allowed to implode on its own irony.  Poetry is not Show Choir.
It is rather jejune of anyone to think otherwise.
One moment of hypocrisy: I honestly believe that only left-aligned poetry is capable of having pleasing qualities.

28th-Sep-2009 10:25 pm - Observation
Schizopolis
Ken Burns' The National Parks: America's Best Idea probably condemns capitalism more deeply than Michael Moore's new movie. You must watch it.
Onegin Duel
Kirk Cameron wants to molest your children intellectually spiritually.



Please review Matthew 6:5.

Advertisement

19th-Sep-2009 05:05 pm - Most Inflammatory Sentence, Ever
Jabob Stein
Perhaps the people who desire to find a comparison between President Barack Obama and Adolph Hitler are less upset by the mass murder he committed and more upset by the meticulous records he kept of it, (or they just have no idea what either fascism or socialism are). 
Czolgosz
If you dropped your hankie,
I'll wrap it round my pistol
Like myself around your pinky
Or my lips upon your fist, oh.

Schizopolis
The "wrap-it-up" signal he gave to the health care professional who was trying to relate the rigamarole involved in supplying teenagers with mental health aid, including several disheartening phone calls to Florida, while standing next to the "Obamacare flowchart". 

The look on Danielle's face when the woman asked about health care for illegals as she waited for an opportunity to take the microphone away.

The derisive "That fag" laugh from the audience at the mention of Representative Barney Frank.

The "you-got-me...CASH?!?" look on my face when Pete was describing how privatized health care can be subsidized by revenue obtained by lowering taxes...?

Rice
Perhaps to satisfy the (so-called modern day) Libertarians, a "chump don't want the help, chump don't get the help" clause should be added to the Health Care Reform Plan with a subclause "jive ass dude ain't got no brains anyhow."
12th-Aug-2009 04:24 pm - (Young American) Pogrom
Schizopolis
She glides in just astride the ledge
and he talks her down; he frowns,
"Gee, my life's a runny thing,
are we still too young?"

He wished her then and there
took her sting, took her rabies,
Took her minutes, took him nowhere
Leaven rows when she spake and everything but

Chorus:
All night she haunts the young American
Young American, young American,
she haunts the young American
All right she gaunts the young American

Spamming strife through the lecher windows
she binds a thinking vagabond,
Appalled as she gasses her Ford Mustang
Heaven for bid, and she'll take anything

"He's a freak and his type: all for something."
He misses a step and shows his hand
Cutting bluffing we whoop with a song
She cries, "Where have all Poppa's heroes gone?"

Chorus

All the way from Washington
Our bread-winner begs on the Town Hall floor
"We give for just these fifty years
Do we have to lie for twenty more?"

Chorus

Do you remember you President mixin'?
Do you remember the pills you have to tray
Or even yesterday?

Have we all been un-American?
Just you as you're idle singing falsetto 'bout
Whether, ever, anywhere or
every myth cleft of a ghetto.

Well, hell, well would you carry a taser
You know in case, just in case of suppression
Get up your hands with a bus of purveyors
gushing at all the appro-seaters.

Ain't too close to shove.
Ain't that poseur love?
It ain't that harpie-doll.
Her art's been stokin' just like you have.

Chorus

You got a limp but you got a Chysler
You ain't a lady but sure are a hustler
Lacks got respect and blights got bellow taint
Obama's got hamps but look at your tan saint

I heard the news today, oh boy
You got defeat and you got a suite
Ain't there a plan that can do some more?
Ain't there a woman I won't sock on the jaw?

Ain't there a child who can scold without judging?
Ain't there a pen that will write before we die?
We ain't proud even when we have faces
Ain't there one damn song that will help me take down the lie?

Chorus


31st-Jul-2009 08:57 am - Image for Bidet
Rice
Ann Curry doing her white-lady-slow-jam to Kings of Leon
This page was loaded Feb 9th 2010, 3:45 pm GMT.